Poetry from 4th Grade, Analysed

12 Jan

It’s weird how sometimes I will just be so wrapped up in my own little scene of ecological stewardship and attention to anthropologically interesting developments in other nations as reported by people of similar socio-economic backgrounds to me, and generally Bettering myself\others in so many ways that it’s rude to talk about, because of jealousy in others, and so I just keep it all inside where no one can compliment me as much as I deserve.

And then I come to see that I have been truly hiding my light ‘neath a bushel, just like the Bible pretty specifically advises against.

With that in mind, I would like to share some poetry that I wrote in 4th grade, which has recently resurfaced.* I’m not totally sure what to make\feel about these poems, but my intuition is that they mean something significant about my Then Future\but Now Present.

Poem #1:

Understand Me

Look in my eyes
See the real me
Sit down and converse
Drink some more tea
You’d understand me
If you’d only try
Someday I’ll leave you
And someday I’ll die.

Analysis: I think that this is a sort of clairvoyant “vision” from my younger self. The reference to the Converse in line 3, and tea drinking in the following, clearly point to phases in my later self-identity; the Chucks represent my punk phase, the tea my avocado-dreadlocks-Dr.Bronners-feminist meditation phase. I had to pause and have a moment after I read the in-your-face ending — truly fearless.

Poem #2:

Life

Life is like a tunnel
A tunnel without an end
You’ve got to keep on moving
And love and help and mend
You’ve got to not give up
Until you reach your light
You’ve got to keep the pace
Every day
And every night.
You’ve got to face the facts
And stand up for your rights
‘Cause you’ve got to keep on going
Until you reach your light.

Analysis: I don’t think this is a very good poem. There’s too much going on, and I think that the choice to capitalize the first letters in each line is not a choice usually seen in normal poetry. Also questioning the “Cause” instead of the more standard “cuz” or “becuz”…Can’t remember whether I was political in 4th grade, but I’m definitely getting a vibe like I had no idea what I was talking about, not really appropriate for 4th grade in the 90s. I honestly have no real memory of writing this…Do 4th graders have Ghost Writers?

I did a quick Google to see if I had possibly plagiarized this poem, but the closest thing I could find was this picture:

Guess it was legit. I would like to invite readers to either a) share critical analyses of these poems, or b)post your own poetry from elementary school which I will attempt to critique.

*Thanks for holding onto these, Rich.

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Poetry from 4th Grade, Analysed”

  1. lr sradnick January 13, 2010 at 3:56 pm #

    FYI: i have now been to europe like one hundred times but when i was 11 all i had to my name was a family vaycay to the dominican republic and a couple thou.
    ahem.

    your nameless face can take me on a trip
    anytime, anywhere
    start packing
    i’ve never been to europe

    i believe the above reprint is true to the original in line breaks, punctuation and grammar but i reproduced that from memory so

  2. lr sradnick January 13, 2010 at 4:02 pm #

    also i have your black front closure wacoal bra which i know your mom paid for SOOOOOO

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: