Cross Cultural Studies: the Elderly

22 Mar

Although many people have told me that I could easily pass for a tween, not only because of my limited vocabulary but also my unrelated-to-pregnancy glow, the Horse Fact of it is is that the seasons certainly do turn, aka: One can’t stay young forever.

The problem is that in my culture, when women graduate to the “contempo casual corner” section of Nordies, they are forced to get the hairstyle of Jamie Lee Curtis (to signify their lack of fertility to society), purchase some zany\purple accessories (same reason), and pretty much give up on making friends (with or without “bennies”) for superficial reasons.
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Which is not what I have in mind for myself, post career as a fairy princess/cancer doctor (haven’t decided which).
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But if there’s anything I learned from Avatar\The Little Mermaid\Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire, it’s that there’s no reason to follow your destiny if a more appealing destiny is available. For example, if you type “indian” “middle-aged” and  “woman,” into Google, this picture comes up:

Isn’t that nice? Apparently when women get “mature” in India, they just throw a big wrapper over the whole thing, toss on a tasteful gold necklace, and call it a day. Bet she’s not “sari” about aging, right?

I typed in “iranian middle aged woman,” expecting like, a zany purple burka or something. But the first hit was this:

I mean, wow. Um, okay. Is it okay to put this picture in my blog? Like, okay with the authorities? I guess it’s fine because I’m an investigative journalist. I’m not sure I could pull this outfit off in middle-age. But I could sure pull that outfit off of her, right guys? We should like, bomb their country, or something.

Luckily, as a search for “British middle-aged birds” revealed, USA is still #1 when it comes to comparisons between only the USA and Britain:

I don’t even know what’s happening here, but it’s definitely making me feel better about my future. For one, I will definitely have quit cigarettes once and for all by the time I’m wearing zebra stripes, and I have never owned a track jacket that literally points at my boobs.

I didn’t do any further Google image searching, mainly out of concern that I’m incapable of discussing other cultures without saying something wack\making a dad joke. I am considering sending this topic to World Have Your Say; would love to let Ros Atkins really sink his teeth in.

What about you guys? What cultural\ethnic changes are you planning to make as you enter the next “phase of life”?

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I would like to recommend that anyone approaching their 80s consider becoming whatever this woman is:

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2 Responses to “Cross Cultural Studies: the Elderly”

  1. kang no sradnicks March 23, 2010 at 7:15 pm #

    definitely barack obama about the whole thing

  2. kang yes cell phone April 14, 2010 at 8:21 pm #

    well, i have ZERO memory of making that last comment but i would like add that i hope you are familiar with eddy and patsy up there because well just shut up if you’ve never seen absolutely fabulous.

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