Tag Archives: Snoop Dogg

Which Coast Is Better: A Topic

30 Aug

The West Coast is the Best Coast. I don’t even need to back that up, because California Girls are undeniable. Portland girls are also undeniable, because what we lack in Daisy Dukes with bikinis on top, we make up for in composting. The Middle Coast is not even a coast. What’s left? The Coast of France? Trick question. French coast is not even really French, it’s just fancy.

I bring this up because I was looking at FB today, just checking out pictures of people who I do not know, which is what I do when I’m too wound up for my afternoon nap — also known as insomnia, a borderline serious condish. Also, “FB” stands for “Facebook.” (My mom reads my blog sometimes.) I came across this picture of some East Coast equivalents of myself and my peers, settling down for a chilled out birthday session:

The picture gave me a kind of oh-uh feeling, like something fundamental and cosmic was downloading incorrectly, or like I had all of the “bit pieces” of a Torrent in my Transmission App, but something was stopping me from watching the complete first season of Golden Girls on VLC. “OK, fine,” I thought. “They all have nice glasses. Whatever.” And then I was like, “Maybe I just feel weird because none of them are wearing their pajamas.” And THEN I was like, “Is that cake not gluten-free?”

As you can see here, we chill a little bit differently on the West Coast. We hang out on hay bales, instead of apartments, drinking coconut water instead of beer and exhibiting terrible posture. Some of us have made bad fashion decisions for the day\week, or are having permanent issues with our bangs, but on the plus side, our daytime gatherings are really well attended because none of us have jobs.

I will never move to the Easter Coast, because I’m too busy pursuing a Life of the Heady Mind to remain physically “passable” even by the way-lower standards of the Pacific Northwest, and because I’m scared of the subway, but I’m curious about peers who have made the transition. How did you adapt your style\hairstyle? Which coast have you found it easier to get L’d on?




Considering Snoop Dogg as a potential new roommate

20 Jan

My roommates are cramping my style. They impose weird rules on my life, and they sometimes have really high expectations of what kind of person I am\where I do\don’t pee.

I feel like Snoop Dogg would be a good roommate for me because I’m interested in joining a community of people who are more open-minded, and don’t leave notes. I would spend the rest of my days peeing wherever I feel like, including on beautiful women\probably on Snoop Dogg, if I wanted. I would be willing to become Snoop, if that were possible through modern technology, but if not, I would like to become friends-with-benefits with him. Snoop smokes the most weed, maybe even more than Lil Wayne, and he loves the same movies as me.

The girl wanna do it, I just might do it
Here to walk wit some pimp-pimp fluid
Mommy don’t worry, I won’t abuse it
Hurry up and finish so we can watch “Clueless”

-Snoop Dogg, “Beautiful”

Actually pretty “siked” on this idea. Snoop Dogg is slightly too old for me but I would definitely enjoy smoking weed, “walking wit” his “pimp-pimp fluid,” and then watching Clueless at his crib.

Found this video of his house:

Even beyond the whole drama with my current roommates, I pay like $450 a month in rent right now, and I’m pretty sure that if you live at Snoop’s house the rent is free. This could be a good move for the future\after I graduate. What are your guys’s thoughts?

(Related subject: I am looking for a job. Career as manager of cat band=didn’t take off. Please comment with job opps. Thanx.)